In this episode we visit the difficult subject of divorce and remarriage with Robb and Phyllis Burkee, leaders, coaches, and healers. With a personal history of addiction and betrayal, Robb and Phyllis candidly share their journey of brokenness, healing, and finding love again.
Having blended two families and five kids, Robb and Phyllis give us some of the “how” they did it, some of the “why” they did the things in healing and remarriage they did. There is hope after divorce, their is healing for our brokenness.
Some of our concluding thoughts:
- Move slow – you have the rest of your life ahead and you want to set yourselves and your families up for success. If you are in a marriage that is in crisis, not doing well, start working on yourself – and get help for the marriage before you start looking at divorce as the solution to the problem. Statistics shockingly reveal that only 10% of couples that get divorced actually sought out help through counseling before moving forward with divorce.
- Pursue resources that encourage each partner to take responsibility – as Phyllis says, it takes two to have a healthy relationship and it if a relationship is failing or not doing well, there are two people involved and part of the problem and solution.
- Another thing Phyllis stressed is that – if you pursue another relationship without getting healed, healthy and whole, you’re taking your unhealed self into that new relationship – and you’ll find yourself repeating behaviors that were part of the brokenness of the previous marriage.
Don’t take blending two families lightly!
Invite healthy and educated support in your journey. Access the resources we have linked below for some of what you may need – but please include real people in your journey.
FAMILY BLENDING RESOURCES
The Smart Stepfamily and other related books by Ron Deal
60 Second Audio program with Ron Deal
For longer, more in-depth broadcasts about blended families, remarriage and stepparenting, go to FamilyLife Today and click on the Blended Families button.
Becoming Stepfamily Smart
FamilyLife Blended has a 6-day reading plan available on YouVersion that provides practical, realistic solutions to the unique issues that stepfamilies face. You can access this great content through the YouVersion app on your smartphone or on their website.
Free Downloadable Resources
Important Steps for Blended Families (pdf)
Steps to help your family succeed.
Marriage Ministry Tip Sheet (pdf)
For blended marriages and families.
Ministering to Students in Stepfamilies (pdf)
Military Marriage Ministry Tip Sheet (pdf)
Specifically for military blended marriages and families.
Help for Military Blended Families (pdf)
If you are a military stepfamily, try these tips for managing the stress and maintaining the peace in your blended family household.