Out of the Box with Steve and Lorraine

Out of the Box with Steve and Lorraine

Fresh insights & solutions for cultivating healthy relationships

#029 Dreaming Together With God Prt 2

by

In Ep 29 we continue with Juan and Beulah Swart, Dream Coaches, and consider the practical aspects of moving forward in activating & unlocking the Dreamer in you. How Do I Dream? Getting Unstuck! and Where Do I Start? Juan and Beulah give us a list of practical questions to activate our dreamers. Our past disappointments and delays are God’s opportunity to do the miraculous!

If you missed Ep 28, give it a listen for the foundation of why dreaming is so important and necessary in our lives.

To explore the potential of Dream Coaching you can contact Juan and Beulah at: ItsTime2Dream@gmail.com

The dreams we’re dreaming are the answers and solutions
to the questions and dilemmas of our lives and communities!

#028 Dreaming Together With God prt 1

by

In Ep #028 we’re talking about Dreaming… the values, the how’s and the why’s of dreaming together… getting unstuck, get moving and working together with God for all that is in Dreaming!

In this podcast we chat together with Dream Coaches, Juan and Beulah Swart and draw from their practical journey of what it looks like to listen to and validate the desires in our hearts as we partner with God for our destiny and legacy. They provide for us a simple but powerful path for moving forward in our current season. We look at and respond to Why Dream; Why Aren’t We Dreaming; Self Evident Truths of Dreaming.

Interested in Dream Coaching? Contact Juan and Beulah Swart for more information: ItsTime2Dream@gmail.com

#027 Remarriage After Divorce – Starting Over

by

In this episode we visit the difficult subject of divorce and remarriage with Robb and Phyllis Burkee, leaders, coaches, and healers. With a personal history of addiction and betrayal, Robb and Phyllis candidly share their journey of brokenness, healing, and finding love again.

Having blended two families and five kids, Robb and Phyllis give us some of the “how” they did it, some of the “why” they did the things in healing and remarriage they did. There is hope after divorce, their is healing for our brokenness.

Some of our concluding thoughts: 

  1. Move slow – you have the rest of your life ahead and you want to set yourselves and your families up for success. If you are in a marriage that is in crisis, not doing well, start working on yourself – and get help for the marriage before you start looking at divorce as the solution to the problem. Statistics shockingly reveal that only 10% of couples that get divorced actually sought out help through counseling before moving forward with divorce.
  1. Pursue resources that encourage each partner to take responsibility – as Phyllis says, it takes two to have a healthy relationship and it if a relationship is failing or not doing well, there are two people involved and part of the problem and solution.
  1. Another thing Phyllis stressed is that – if you pursue another relationship without getting healed, healthy and whole, you’re taking your unhealed self into that new relationship – and you’ll find yourself repeating behaviors that were part of the brokenness of the previous marriage.

Don’t take blending two families lightly!
Invite healthy and educated support in your journey. Access the resources we have linked below for some of what you may need – but please include real people in your journey.

FAMILY BLENDING RESOURCES

The Smart Stepfamily and other related books by Ron Deal

Ron Deal Resources

60 Second Audio program with Ron Deal

For longer, more in-depth broadcasts about blended families, remarriage and stepparenting, go to FamilyLife Today and click on the Blended Families button.

Becoming Stepfamily Smart
FamilyLife Blended has a 6-day reading plan available on YouVersion that provides practical, realistic solutions to the unique issues that stepfamilies face. You can access this great content through the YouVersion app on your smartphone or on their website.

Free Downloadable Resources

Important Steps for Blended Families (pdf)
Steps to help your family succeed.

Marriage Ministry Tip Sheet (pdf)
For blended marriages and families.

Ministering to Students in Stepfamilies (pdf)

Military Marriage Ministry Tip Sheet (pdf)
Specifically for military blended marriages and families.

Help for Military Blended Families (pdf)
If you are a military stepfamily, try these tips for managing the stress and maintaining the peace in your blended family household.

#026 Intimacy In Marriage

by

What is intimacy in marriage and how do we get it? A great question we received from a newly married couple that we want to explore a bit together in this podcast. The subject of intimacy can be a very broad subject because intimacy is about emotional, physical, and spiritual oneness – so we’re going to only touch the surface of what intimacy is in the context of marriage and give you a few thoughts to consider with regard to nurturing and developing intimacy.

Think of intimacy as in-to-me-see. I’m extending to you an invitation to come close, to see me, to know me, and to receive me. Che Ahn in his book Catching God’s Heart gave this definition of marital intimacy: “The highest, most vulnerable, personal, and private form of sharing and bonding between individuals. The greatest intimacy given to us by the Lord in this life is that of a man and woman in marriage.”

An intimate relationship is… one that both persons are fully known and fully loved, with no fear of rejection. In a genuinely intimate relationship, neither party needs to pretend or defend because both are – and feel, safe.

Together we explore vulnerability, having fun and adventure and a few other practical aspects and tips that are involved in developing intimacy in marriage.

#025 A NOW Word…

by

We are excited to post this message and release it in this Kairos season. It was a word we felt God gave to us for us and then for us to share and release over churches where we traveled in 2016. We watched God unlock many things in churches and individual lives in Spain, Norway, England, and many other churches we ministered in last year. Recently while we were in Scotland, we felt the Lord asked us to share the word again and release it over Paisley and Scotland. It was a timely word for them and God used it to confirm what He is doing in and for them in this season. We are releasing this word here on our podcast and want to encourage you to receive it and ask the Father what He has for you in Adventure and Advancement! Below is a link to Kris’s word that we refer to and also the video of our kids singing Friend of God that is not only fun, but anointed! Enjoy.

Kris Vallotton’s Message, Epoch Seasons and Kairos Moments

Save

#024 Setting Ourselves Up for Happily Ever After!

by

It’s not every day you meet two people like Erik and Kate Bagley! They tell a story of pursuit and intention, wisdom and love. Together they share their journey of setting their lives together – up for success… How they handled the days before they said “I Do!” was a standard for how they would choose to live their lives in the context of covenant. They talk openly and candidly about the choices they made and are still making today – be encouraged with their story and share with other who are on the journey! So much to learn, so much to enjoy.

Here is a link to their complete story – an absolute must see!

UPGRADE YOUR CONNECTION THIS MONTH with these resources from Steve and Lorraine Box!

#023 Top Ten Tips for Cultivating Health & Happiness

by

What a great, practical and fun podcast here with Senior Leaders, Caleb and Rachael Klinge from Novato, CA – New Life Church. They share their Top Ten Count Down of things they learned in their first 20 years of marriage. They share both biblical insights along with their personal experiential journey that led them to their top ten.

You’ll love their real, fresh, and powerfully practical approach to creating a happy and healthy marriage relationship. If you live near the Bay Area (San Francisco, CA) and are looking for a vibrant, relevant, and community – family based church family, New Life Church could be for you! Check them out here too on Facebook.

#022 Intimacy, Risk, and Trust

by

How do you guard your heart and let people into intimate places at the same time? In other words… How do you walk wisely in relationship, while also being open and vulnerable? In this episode we explore how we must both risk and practice trust in order to develop intimacy in relationship. The level of intimacy we experience will always be defined by the level of trust we are practicing in the relationship – To the degree there is trust, is to the degree we can have intimacy… We share several important aspects of understanding and cultivating trust – great insight for every relationship.
 
Join us this month in a special focus and emphasis on upgrading connection in our relationships! 

#021 How DO We Argue Well?

by

Today we are going to talk about arguing – The question we want to actually address is “How do we wrestle through the realities of different opinions, ideas, values, preferences and desires while maintaining our connection, demonstrating love and honor, and being fully ourselves.” Another way to re-phrase this question is “How do we create an environment that makes room for both spouses to be heard and understood – even in the midst of dis-agreement?”

Steve and Lorraine give three keys to navigating differences, conflict, and those really hard conversations. They unpack The RAC – the most helpful and powerful tool for nurturing connection while communicating even and maybe especially in the midst of dis-agreement and conflict.

The foundation upon which the practical use of communication tools rests is the Holy Spirit. He wants to be with us in a very real way as the Guide, the Teacher, the Helper, the Counselor, and the Comforter.

#020 No Communication – Is That Normal?

by

This question is not one we normally ask… but in this episode Steve and Lorraine respond to a listener’s question regarding what seems like a lack of communication in near-by marriage relationships. Steve and Lorraine talk about habits, health, and seasons of marriage and how they affect our communication – good or bad. Steve and Lorraine share a couple of communication tools – and challenge us in our marriage toward a healthy life-giving connection that fosters and empowers communication.

The overall health of our marriage and family does depend on staying current and involved in each others’ lives… and that requires COMMUNICATION! A lack of communication, at an emotional level developing intimacy, should not be normal. Think 1% – it only takes 1% to take your relationship to a place of connection and greater intimacy – going from good to great.